Dating is a tricky area to give advice on, as you’re not dealing with facts, you’re dealing with fickle humans. So you could do everything right and get it wrong, or do everything wrong and get it right, if that makes sense. However, many people try, and some even earn a living from doing so.
While sometimes it seems like everyone is telling you something different, there are certain rules or advice that seem to crop up again and again. Some of it may be useful, but some of it I have to disagree with. Here’s when I think you should rip up the rule book.
1. Don’t look for anyone
So if I go to work and come home every day, and have the occasional dinner with friends I’ve known for 6 years, I’m supposed to meet someone… how? Maybe a man might just… fall down from the sky perhaps? Jokes aside though, unless your social circle is incredible, if you’re single and looking, you need to be actively putting yourself in situations where you could meet people who might be your type.
2. Don’t discuss religion, politics, or sex on the first date
Try not to get into too heated a debate, but I don’t see the harm in bringing it up. I was talking to a guy on Tinder about the standard things, then I briefly mentioned my political standpoint, and we got into this really interesting discussion. Those kind of conversations are a hell of a lot more interesting than having to explain what I do for a living for the hundredth time, and if you have completely incompatible viewpoints it’s best to find out early on.
3. Three date rule
This seems to be some kind of unwritten protocol, but some people such as myself prefer to wait a bit longer and stop seeing other people first. Others are happy to bang on the first night if they find someone attractive, and just see how it goes. Everyone is different, and I find there’s something a bit… mechanical and passion-killing about having a designated date where you have to have sex. And also- sex should never be an expectation- if someone isn’t ready you have to respect that.
4. Wait X hours before replying to a text, or any other variation of “playing hard to get”
I’m sure everyone’s been in that place where you’ve had an unrequited crush and the fact that they’re not responding to your obvious hints makes you WANT THEM EVEN MORE DAMN IT! The problem is, it only works if the receiver of the hard-to-get-playing actually fancies the hard-to-get-player. If they don’t fancy them, they wouldn’t realise or care. And I don’t know about you, but if I fancied someone and they came on strong I’d be all over that. So really, there’s no point playing hard to get.
5. Don’t meet people in bars/ on Tinder/ speed dating/ X location because of XYZ
In all honesty, you can meet someone anywhere. I’ve personally only met weirdos on nights out, but some of my friends are in long-term relationships with people they’ve met in clubs. Some people say Tinder is only for casual things, others have met the love of their life on the app. Some say speed dating only attracts weirdos (and this is what I experienced), but one of my friends met her boyfriend there. It’s all about luck and meeting the right person, so explore a variety of methods.
6. Don’t settle down until you’re 30
Women- find someone as early as possible, ideally in school, and marry them.
Men- fuck around during sixth form and your first year of university, but settle down in second or third year so you don’t have to deal with Tinder flakes after graduation.
What dating rules have you broken, or do you think we should break? Let me know in the comments!