Some people with the aim of making more money, breaking out of the 9-5, or becoming the next Zoella. While those things would be great, even if you told me I’d never make a penny from this blog and my following would be capped at the number it is now, I would still blog. Because I love writing about dating. It’s something I think about around 90% of the time. So it gives me joy to formulate my thoughts into blog post, hear your feedback, and chat about it with strangers on Twitter.
But I got thinking. I’m actually a really bad dating blogger. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not being self-deprecating about my writing style. But if you were looking for a dating writer and looked at my life, I’m probably the last person you’d pick.
1. I Don’t Really “Date” People
I go on a fair few dates. Probably not enough, but enough to say I’m actively dating. But it’s mostly first-second dates and not a lot more than that. I never really meet anyone I’m that into, and when I meet someone I like through travelling etc. they’re never as keen. When I meet other single-and-dating people, they seem to go through periods where they’re “seeing” people, and I wonder what’s wrong with me. But thinking about it- I’m more of an “all or nothing” sort of person- I either don’t fancy someone enough to date them, or I really fall for them and want a relationship with them. It’s just a different approach, not inherently better or worse.
2. I Don’t Like Dating
Don’t get me wrong, I love reading and writing about dating. But I hate dating. Other people seem to enjoy the process. But I don’t like messaging back and forth on apps about how you day’s been. I’d rather just cut to the chase and instadate. I don’t like the taste of alcohol, and I find drinks dates really dull and overpriced. I’d rather spend money on a meal I enjoy, but guys get skittish if you mention food. Although the flaking and ghosting gets irritating, I actually enjoy the process of friend-dating, because I get to natter with another woman for a couple of hours and usually end up having a good time. But although I get on with guys just fine and have plenty of male friends, I just don’t seem to gel as well with men, and a lot of guys on apps are a bit socially off, so I don’t really have a good time on dates. For me, dating is more of a means to an end.
3. I Don’t Like Talking About Sex
Most dating blogs seem to be more dating and sex blog hybrids. Which makes sense, I mean the two are obviously intertwined. But while I’ll talk about sex as a part of dating from time to time, there’s no way I’d call this a “sex blog”, or even a “dating and sex blog”. I don’t sleep around, and if I was sleeping with someone I was seriously seeing, I’d rather keep the details to myself. The trend these days seems to be being more open, which I guess is fair play to them, but that’s just not my thing.
4. I’m Not That Great At Blogging
I read a post the other day from another blogger who feels she’s a writer, not a blogger, and that struck a chord with me. I like writing. I’m good at writing. But I’m not that great at blogging. I got into the creative flow and splashed out on the Olympus PEN E-LP8, and I’m trying to get into photography, but my Instagram’s still not going to be winning any awards any time soon. And while I can mingle pretty well and get on with most people just fine, I don’t seem to make actual friends that easily, so I feel like I’m never going to be part of the blogger clique.
5. I Date Counter-Culturally
Although most people I know my age are in relationships, there seems to be this expectation that if you’re single, you’re supposed to be happy that way. Most people I meet who are dating aren’t necessarily averse to settling down, but aren’t actively seeking it. A lot of people seem to date for the sake of dating. I’m the opposite- I am dating to actively look for a husband, or at least an actual boyfriend for a change. If I’m seeing someone, it’s to look at going towards a relationship. And I’m more of a sex= love than sleeping around kind of person, which doesn’t seem to fit the cultural narrative.
But at the same time, I feel like the reasons I shouldn’t blog are simultaneously reasons I should blog. A lot of content in the blogosphere, as great as it is, can get a little samey. So I feel like there’s a need for diversity. Sometimes I feel like I’m not relatable enough for people to appreciate my content. But then at the same time, I feel like it’s possible to enjoy content you don’t agree with word for word, and appreciate a different opinion. And of course, there are probably some girls out there who also feel like they’re dating in the wrong era.
Am I a bad dating blogger? Let me know in the comments!