Towards the end of last year, I made a new friend, who offered to try and help me out with my love life. This friend is male, and I’d say pretty attractive, so is probably the ideal person to do so.
Anyhow, he ended up offering me some good advice, but also suggested I changed my Tinder bio to “I’m a virgin and I have traditional values”.
I was like hell no. I mean, that’s one sure-fire way to attract all the creeps.
But then I got thinking. Dating is all about finding a compatible match. I’d always tried to be as myself I could be in my dating profiles. I’d experimented with mentioning politics, and saying I liked “old fashioned romance” (a euphemism for “want to wait a while before having sex”). But what would happen if I wrote a BRUTALLY HONEST Tinder profile?
Well, there was one way to find out. So in the interests of a social experiment, it had to be done.
I braced myself for the creepy message to follow, but the first message I got was this:
Not too bad.
A far cry from the creepy messages I thought I’d receive, I then received some that were actually positive. And not the “I want a woman who is pure” creepy, virgin-hunting stuff I was expecting. In fact, most people didn’t really may much attention to that aspect of the profile, one way or the other. Some people said they liked my honesty, and my profile was one of the more interesting ones they’d seen. Others just wanted to talk about politics.
But of course, inevitably, this happened:
Although I have to mention, I only got a couple like this, and I was expecting more. So congratulations men of Tinder, you have surpassed my expectations.
Disappointingly though, a lot of the messages I received weren’t actually related to my profile at all. Most were just the standard “hi, how are you?”. I imagine a lot of them either hadn’t read it, or weren’t particularly fussed either way. From my experience, men on dating apps are a lot less picky than women. You could probably write on your profile that you like to kill kittens for fun and still get messages.
I did match with one really hot guy during my stint with the brutally honest Tinder profile. I’m not just talking “cute” or “attractive”- this guy could have made a living from his appearance. I was going to start talking to him, but he unmatched me. But you can’t win them all. And I’m at the age where, although I feel like I need some level of physical attraction, personality is ultimately what’s important.
When I set up the profile, I thought I’d either meet the love of my life or just get hounded by creeps all day. In reality, neither happened. I had some promising conversations that ended up fizzling out, while having others that came in for dates but I didn’t feel I gelled with. I did meet one self-described right-wing vegan, who I thought had lost interest after a promising conversation on WhatsApp, but after talking to the aforementioned dating-advice friend, it turned out he hadn’t, and it looked like I’d lost interest. Oops. I had another date lined up but ended up messing up the dates and things fizzled out. Another ended up cancelling because he’d had one good date.
So overall, it appears either dating apps are tricky regardless, I’m terrible at dating, I just have bad luck, or perhaps a combination of all three. In regards to the profile itself, it’s probably not something I’d keep up 24/7 as it gets a bit tiring answering the same questions on repeat, but it definitely wasn’t a bad idea. After all, nothing I wrote on the profile was untrue, so if someone unmatches me, we weren’t compatible anyway no matter how fit they are.
I’m doing the Color Obstacle Rush this summer to raise money for the Pamoja Project- a really awesome charity I worked with in Tanzania that do really important work out there. If you could take the time to check out my fundraising page and donate that would be amazing!