The next post in my Love Story series is by Sarah Louise Ryan. A key player in the dating industry, Sarah is an experienced matchmaker and dating expert, and is also a published author. Today she is here to write about her love life so far, and what she knows about love.
Hey there, I’m Sarah Louise Ryan. I work as a dating and relationship expert and matchmaker in
London. I am the founder of Love Lessons, a platform and hub to help people work towards
finding, building and keeping loving romantic relationships. I’ve been busy playing Cupid
professionally since 2011 – it’s been a wave of ups and downs and I wouldn’t change it for the
As you can probably tell, I just love love in all its forms. I like figuring out the best way to find love,
the ways in which people communicate in relationships for a deeper connection, I am passionate
about helping couples figure out their grievances and overcome those hurdles as well as the
sensitive side of love – healing from a loss of it.
Whilst lots of people that work in the dating industry are ever the romantic, I’ve always been more
of a realist and try to work towards practically towards paving the steps to living a happy love life.
Romantically speaking in my relationships, life hasn’t always been a bed of roses. I often think that
one doesn’t really fully understand the depths of love until they have recovered from the loss of it,
figured out what they have learnt about that relationship and most importantly, what they have
learnt about themselves. I am a huge believer that people enter our lives for a reason, a season or
they stay for a lifetime and so, if we consciously have this attitude to the relationships that have
gone, not just the one we are in, then we can be gracious and feel safe in the understanding that
people enter our lives for whatever period of time to teach us a lesson about ourselves, about the
depths of love or expand our emotional intelligence about what we are capable of romantically and,
of course, what we are not.
I was running a global matchmaking agency when I lost my first great love. Little did I know at the
time that it was paving a way for a partner that fills my life with joy, calm and above all, conscious
coupling. I learnt a saying back in 2016 ‘whatever is meant for you in life will never pass you by’
and at the time I really couldn’t see it but reiterated it as though it was my favourite mantra to get
me back up and bouncing back. The heartbreak I suffered was a pain to heavy to bare at the time
and so, each day, I wrote away my grief in a blog called the 30 Days of Heartbreak. The words
helped 3.5k people everyday with broken hearts to pull their pieces back together again and little
did they know at the time how much they loved me back to life. A learning for me at this point in
time was to ‘forgive yourself for not having the foresight to see what you now know in hindsight”.
Hindsight is a beautiful thing and writing about my heart, whilst feeling like a total imposter as an
international matchmaker suffering a loss of love, has been one of the best learnings about love
and of loss in my life. Who knew that sharing such vulnerabilty to help myself would help so many
people and catapult my passion and profession in the dating industry into an arena I never thought
was possible. I built a business called The Heartbreak Coach to support those readers. I’m grateful
for this love and for that it came to an end as it paved the way for my now partner who teaches me
things I have never known before.
So what do I know about finding love? Well, I know it requires patience, persistence, connection
and pausing to be present with every single person that you meet, be it online or offline. Why?
Well, in this modern world of dating we can adapt this grass is always greener mentality and we
can truly miss out on someone who could be our significant other by not being actually present in
our interaction, even when we are on a date. I think being mindful in every swipe, every interaction
both of ourselves and most importantly how the person we are on a date with makes us feel.
Actions, I have found, always speak louder then words and as a single something important to note
is that alignment is key with a potential partner – words, body language, actions and intentions.
Always be mindful of this when looking to match.
What do I know about love now and what am I learning from my relationship. Communication on
every level is key – if something doesn’t feel right, I say so. We talk it out, we strategise it out and
we deepen our understanding of one another and of what happens in our relationship as a
cherished third entity that matters above all things in our life. We also know that nothing in life is perfect and neither one of us makes each other whole – we are whole in the first place and look to
make each day a bit brighter for one another, remembering that before we are a couple, before we
are lovers, before we are two individuals co-habiting in our lovely home where life can get busy
and bonkers, we are best friends. I know that I want to be with my best friend, his feelings and his
happiness matter as well as mine and we are equal and this to me, is love. I didn’t fall hook, line
and sinker on a first date like so many singles today want to do but I did calmly and consciously opt
in for a second dinner and drinks soiree with him. If I didn’t have patience and I wasn’t fully present
on my search for my significant other, we wouldn’t be here today – happy and holding each other
accountable to all that we do in life.
That’s what I know about love so far. I guess, to be continued?
If you would like to submit the story of your love life so far I am still looking for people so please get in touch!
You can also sponsor me in the Reading Colour Rush this summer and donate towards a great cause!